again?

so what the hell? i like someone again? this is bull shit...
he's not even that good...of course, right?
he's arrogant, a player, just says what girls want to hear so he can get in their pants apparently, im pretty sure he gets high, gets drunk, recently has been ignoring me...i mean damn. what a guy, right?
it's amazing how i am attracted to the either most retarded or ass hole of guys...i really don't understand...and then i can't move on and like the guys that like me cuz i'm too hung up on THIS goddamn guy. i really hate it.
Although i will admit, he is hot, and charming, and sweet, and smart, adn kind of a badass. but really...i don't even know if that's really him or if it's just all an act for girls to put on. he may be a nice guy underneath it all. but i'll never know that cuz right now he's ignoring me and whatever. i don't know what i did to make him just up and stop talking to me...maybe i was just a target, and i was just too challenging for him to get with so he moved on...to an easy-to-get, and just EASY girl....the first girl that would get into bed with him. i mean if he met the right girl (wish that could be me) that could like not neccessarily change just...be...better, i guess, then that would be awesome. it's like what happened with A & V....he was a COMPLETE and TOTAL player, then he met A, the girl who made him change his ways and be with just her.... why can't that happen to HIM, preferably with me?
ugh. Liking someone is really tough now-a-days...seriously..
i'll admit, i am picky. but i have my standards...
i just don't know...whatever. Things will go how they're supposed to go.
until then...

Lake House next weekend!!!

My friend invited me to go with her and a few other people to go to a lake (cant remember which one) in Texas. Her Aunts fiance has a houseboat, and i must say.....its pretty fucking amazing.
so im really excited!!!

"I love you" means....

....that i accept you for the person you are and that i do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that i do not expect perfection from you-just as you do not expect it from me. It means that i will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you when you're in a bad mood or too tired to do things i want to do. It means loving you when you're down-not just when you're fun to be with. 'I love you' means that i know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them-asking in return only that you do not judge me for mine. It means that i care enough to fight for what we have and that i love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping that you feel the same way for me."